Club News
January: Chairman, Tony Farrell, welcomed 27 members + Brian Udell (inductee), John Venning (retired member), Lyndon Thomas (Sanderstead & Purley Oaks Probus) and guest speaker Steve Bird. Tony announced that Lucy (PSC Catering Manager) had given birth to a baby boy yesterday.
Induction of New Member: Chairman, Tony Farrell presentation of Badge, Tie and Handbook to Brian Udell on his initiation.
Lyndon Thomas (Sanderstead & Purley Oaks Probus) told us about their planned Holiday 2024 – by coach–midlands–hotel–5 days planned outings – £800p.p. Interest sought.
Outings/Events: Outings Secretary, Terry Ribbons, planning outings to Royal Albert Hall (with lunch) and Bletchley Park.
Lunch changes by 10.30am the prior Tuesday to chris@moniz.co.uk T: 020 8660 6063.
Member News to Welfare Sec., Bill Ainsworth T: 020 8660 0399.
Please email vincent@fosdike.com with articles/news for the Newsletter.
AGM today (after lunch): Election of Committee and Examiner for 2024. Please see Annual Report 2023/4 for reports from officers and nominations for new committee.
Speaker today: Catherine Evans, Chairman’s Charity speaker from South East Cancer Help
4th April: Gordan Gillett: ‘Tollsworth Manor’
Steve Bird: ‘The Dutch in the Medway. June 1667’
Serious and sustained competition on the world trade scene had been ongoing between the English and the Dutch for some time and was possibly about to be settled by treaty at the time of the raid which saw the British Navy at a low ebb with the government paying little heed to its condition – sailors unpaid and ships laid up or awaiting repair. The Dutch perhaps seeking to gain a pre-treaty advantage took the opportunity to strike. Our dockyards were corrupt using poor materials and allowing their workforce to run down. The defences in the form of forts ships and a chain were superficially strong but in such poor condition and so poorly manned that the Dutch force of sixty well founded and officered ships was formidable. They faced considerable navigational risks but had two English turncoats to guide them. Considerable use was made of fire ships to which we had no answer.
Despite assembling our ships behind the chain, we were driven further back when the chain was broken. The Dutch took five days to reach Sheerness whilst a detached squadron sailed up the Thames and cut of coal supplies to the city. They also carried marines as a separate striking force who were landed at various points. We responded by sending army units under Monk and Rupert (former civil war opponents ), by boat which became stuck on a sand bank which no doubt reduced their effectiveness considerably!
Throughout the conflict we increasingly sunk ships to block their further progress. This measure was perhaps the most successful combined with the effects of the tide which only allowed Dutch movement when it gave sufficient depth to avoid grounding.
By the 27th June the Dutch had decided to go home taking with them HMS Royal Charles and one other, meeting a heroes’ welcome and leaving our population shaken, many having fled London. Even Samuel Pepys buried some of his wealth including a cheese (missing to this day). Apart from the loss of the flag ship we scuttled five first rate frigates and eight third and fourth rate frigates. The Dutch seemed to have only lost their expendable fire ships and 42 men!
The event caused major panics and recriminations. Admiral Pett was initially “in the frame” and sent to the Tower. He seems to have rescued himself by threatening to release evidence that the government well knew the situation of the Navy and so the Lord Chancellor Edward Hyde was next in line but managed to flee to France to become a permanent exile.
Whilst our speaker only had time to deal with the Medway and Thames raids others were affected on the East coast and in the South West although better dealt with.
Our thanks to Steve for a very informative talk packed with history which is not perhaps widely taught in schools beyond a general reference.
‘All our operators are busy’
by Vincent Fosdike, Editor
Just when we thought our electronic “devices” were bedded down, on the right networks, codes all properly entered for security and access, a meteorite from cyberspace is heading straight for us. One of the electronic Gods has made a deal with a counterpart God and launched this meteorite. We humble members of the congregation must change churches – a network is to be terminated. Failure to change faith by the appointed timewill ultimately lead to ex-communication! Resistance is futile.
Perhaps we have become fond of the soft coloured glow from our hub in which we or perhaps our grandchildren invested time and trouble to instal. A dependency has occurred and now we are being cancelled for no fault of our own. Did we not always allow our provider to dip into our bank account and promise a year or two of continuing access to the same?
We are duly told that the meteorite will hit our home in about three months’ time and take the form of a parcel containing a new hub and wires which replace our dear old uncomplaining unit now due to be exterminated following its return to its distant origin. Apparently, it will be re-incarnated to save the planet.
If we have difficulty with the DIY installation, we can happily call for advice. Times have changed since someone would come and do it for you. Remember when we changed from coal gas to natural gas and there were teams of fitters in every road and house? It seems humble folk must learn new skills to save the Gods money and trouble at the risk of back pains and dizzy spells whilst grubbing about at floor level.
We decided to stay with the old Gods’ successor to avoid risk of gaps in service or accidently running two contracts perhaps for two years.
The parcel arrives with instructions which are also replicated online. Just a matter of swopping over plugs (out with the old three pin and put the new one in the same socket. Then change the wires to and from the old and new hub). A mere ten mins of our time. Plus of course the need to crawl around the skirting board to plug in the micro socket and rearrange a mains plug. Can’t really remember what they all do and what happens when you disconnect the various units. Well, it all comes with a nice simple booklet. Apart from the power supply (good old three pin) we must study the diagram and crawl about a bit to join the hub to something. Our wire runs underneath heavy furniture which would be a challenge to move. So, crawl becomes lie down and stretch underneath. O.K. it is possible but on shinning the torch to follow through the wire we discover various obstructions between us and the sockets. Years ago, our sons did all this and seem to have discarded the products of previous networks now long forgotten. There are hubs, transformer feeders, splitters and some unidentifiable bits plus large amounts of cable. These will never be used again but what are probably updated equivalents have arrived with the new hub.
O.K. we have done our best, connections have been made. Time to switch on. If it does not work, there will be no groceries etc. online! It takes a while for the new hub to go through a range of colours until it reaches the final good to go version. Try the computer, yes it seems to have hooked up. But the printer has not, and the phone will only dial out but does not get incoming calls. Calls to the helpline can still be made and more fiddling is needed. Just need to change the network setting on the computer and send it to the printer. YES, BUT HOW? Phone calls describing the procedure can be stressful as we are not good at exploring hitherto unknown screens. Once found careful reading is needed and strange buttons on the printer must be found. It does not work! More phone-time. Defeat, our advisors, resort to finding a physical wire to make the connection – this is found in the old graveyard of bits never having been used, but it would be a stone age solution! Phone call to son. Eventually we use a solution already attempted but with even longer hold down of transmission buttons. Success! At the end of the day there is only the phone to sort out. More phone calls, outgoing only! Several days pass and we have to call them as they can only ring us on a different mobile. Our phone is too old for the new system. More junk created. A brand-new phone is sent. No matter how much plugging and synchronising is tried it does not work. Finally, an engineer is sent after we have established that there will be no charge. It does not take him long but does require something to be unplugged not mentioned in the booklet.
All now works well including two problems previously thought to be insoluble having cured themselves!
But did we have to change? Reading up online it seems perhaps not!
Then comes the first monthly bill which includes the engineer’s visit and a few other items which should not have been charged. So, another phone call which takes a while to get through the “all of our operators are busy”. Have you, noticed that if you choose to buy something, they are not busy? Fortunately, we had insisted on them texting us their agreement to a nonchargeable engineers call out. Finally, we seem to have won and deductions are agreed. This was only after they checked our points especially the free call out.
Naturally they won’t want our old electronic junk, only the items that were anyway giving good service. So, we must pollute the planet by driving them to the tip as they don’t go with normal waste collections.