Welcome Members, Wives and Guests to our Christmas Luncheon
November: Vice Chairman, Andrew Carver (in the Chair), welcomed 22 Members and guest speaker, Rev. Malcolm Newman.
Update on Members: We report the sad news that Alan Smith, past General Secretary and Chair of Purley Probus in 2018 passed away 19th November. Condolences to his family and daughter Emma. Tony Farrell almost walking unaided but attending physio twice a week. We hope to see Tony at our Christmas Dinner today. Also Graham Bass (now using a Zimmer frame) may join us. Dennis Evans seriously ill following stomach issues but made a special effort to do his quizmaster duties on 24th November. Cyril Ranasinghe has continuing health problems.
Outings/Events
Terry Ribbens wishes us to let him have any outings suggestions.
Probus Quiz 24th November: Quizmaster Dennis Evans, Scorer Ian Payne. A great success – 63 quizzers including 30 Coulsdon Probus and friends, Tandridge and Sanderstead & Riddlesdown teams and local Coulsdon quizzers. Surplus including raffle, approx. £370 to go to our Chairman’s charity.
Lunch changes by 10.30am the prior Tuesday to chris@moniz.co.uk T: 020 8660 6063.
Member News to Welfare Sec., Bill Ainsworth T: 020 8660 0399.
Please email vincent@fosdike.com with articles/news for the Newsletter.
Speaker today: Eleanor Redshaw:
‘My Grandmother was a Suffragette’4th January: Jackie Lucas: ‘Lasting Power of Attorney’
November Speaker: Reverend Malcolm Newman
‘The Six Wives of Henry VIII’
On November 3rd we enjoyed a quick history of Henry the Eighth’s matrimonial C.V. as admirably compressed and clarified by the Rev. Malcolm Newman. Indeed, so rapid was he that your scribe was challenged to keep pace and so please excuse any errors you may detect and take the gist in the spirit in was meant.
Basically, Henry was always under pressure to secure the male line of succession and stabilise the dynasty. Had things gone well he might have achieved this by having a son by his first wife Catherine of Aragon the widow of Arthur, Prince of Wales, who had he lived would have been king long term instead of Henry (his younger brother). However, she failed to produce a male heir and Henry sought a divorce using grounds from the book of Leviticus to claim the marriage could not be valid as a brother should not marry his own brother’s widow. The Pope rejected this leaving Henry to find a way round the problem. So, he founded the Protestant Church of England to enable him to effectively grant his own divorce. He did this at the cost of being ex-communicated but was free to find a second wife, Anne Boleyn, who alas could not supply a male heir and was thus rendered surplus to requirements. She was to be executed following a trial in which adultery and incest were alleged.
Whilst the evidence was poor, she was convicted, and once again the office of Queen was available. Anne had left a daughter Elizabeth who was to become Queen Elizabeth the first subject to there being no male heir ahead of her under the rule of primogeniture.
Next came the love of Henry’s life, Jane Seymour. This one was meant to last and even gave him a son, who sadly died as king Edward VI at the age of 15. Jane herself died shortly after giving birth.
Although Henry had got his son, he was now a widower and moved on to the equivalent of Brides online perhaps to provide a “spare”. An over flattering portrait by Holbein of Anne of Cleves, done as a commission, persuaded him to arrange a marriage which sadly, he was disinclined to consummate costing him a financial settlement, presumably using non-consummation as a standard ground. Thus, avoiding clerical opposition (he was learning), better luck next time. Then came the 17-year-old Catherine Howard, who was to die at eighteen without issue having been executed for adultery!
His final attempt to stabilise his royal line was with Catherine Parr but there was no issue and Edward succeeded Henry. So, Henry was partially successful, but the crown was soon in contention again due to Edward’s early death which somewhat took the guilt of the gingerbread!Our thanks to the Reverend Malcolm for a lively historical vignette.
Bar Room Reminiscences: ‘A little problem at the Auction’
It had been a tense evening in the Jenks household, not helped by Henry Jenks being stopped by an observant police patrol car near the Houses of Parliament. The weight of the two machine guns in the boot had caused them to search the car. Anyway, he had his licences to carry military items in the course of his work (military salvage), and they did not bother with the kit bag containing a skull, once they had checked the paperwork. His secretary had recovered the skull and claimed it as her own find.
Mrs. Marilyn Jenks insisted all finds belonged to their partnership. Susy would not have it, though God knows why she wanted it, perhaps she thought it was ancient and a collector’s item, anyway she would NOT have it. Henry fought Susy’s corner saying unwisely that after all she did not get much out of the European trips and it was a shame that Marilyn could never come with them, but there were the kids to look after. Marilyn said there was no way that women would get her name in the news on the back of their efforts hence she would not get the skull whatever else she may have got and that was her last word! Henry’s last word was not recorded as he did not wake up the next day. Marilyn called the police and eventually obtained probate following a verdict of accidental death after falling down the stairs.
Of course, the Will did not resolve the disputed ownership of the skull and following a plaintiff call from Susy saying it would be a memento of the last time she had worked with him, she graciously changed her mind and said she would drop it round in a few days’ time. Marilyn felt it might well be quite a memento.
The next day she made two visits. Firstly to a museum which had a good display of anthropological items including skulls. Some of these had stencilled acquisition numbers on them which she surreptitiously photographed. The second visit was to her jeweller whom she always admired, indeed it had been a pleasure to know him over the years. She explained that she was planning a practical joke and asked if he could perhaps make a very, very faint marking on the inside of this skull she had acquired. Just a few numbers . He was easily persuaded and she bought him dinner at a posh hotel during which he took a couple of tablets from a small plastic bottle to stabilise his heart rate. He said they were his last two and he should collect the new ones tomorrow. Normally they came in foil strips but he preferred to carry them in a bottle. Marilyn offered to pick up his prescription as she was going that way and could drop them round. He was delighted as he would be pushed for time in the morning. And so she did, carefully substituting some tasteless antihistamines in the bottle he had so thoughtfully given her before dropping it off at his house, which she had come to know well since his wife left him.
Strangely, Susy did what Marilyn knew she would and almost immediately sold the skull online via a specialist auction. So much for the sentimental attachment. No doubt she could not live with it! However, the marking was soon discovered and allegations of attempted fraud were brought against Susy who did not know what had hit her. Naturally she told her side of the story and nothing could be proved and the suspicion of theft from a museum was added to the mix but of course the fake number did not match any records. Marilyn just kept quiet. Sadly her friendly jeweller began to feel anxious and unwell when the story came out. She had anticipated just such a problem. Marilyn comforted and reassured him emphasising that he should not miss his heart medication. Tragically his condition suddenly overcame him and he was found with just an empty plastic bottle at his bed side. Natural causes easily carried the day. We could hardly say that they all lived happily ever after! Things were never quite the same for Suzy who narrowly escaped conviction. Pity about that, but I suppose one can’t win them all and when all is said and done, Henry was not really looking forward to retirement. So fate had been remarkably kind, and the young undertaker she had used for Henry had taken quite a shine to her. Though perhaps better be careful with him. Heaven knows novelties can wear off and he sort of had a whip hand.