Club News
November: Chairman, Tony Farrell, welcomed 24 members, and speaker Jon Fox. Chaiman’s Charity raised £48; Raffle £37.
Chairman: Roosevelt 07/11/1944 president for four terms. 2nd Amendment 1951 limits to maximum of two terms. 05/11/2024 D.T. elected president for second term of four years. [Ed: phew!]
Dennis Evans: We have to report the sad passing of Dennis on 13th November. Dennis was Coulsdon Probus Secretary for many years. He was also quizmaster at our annual quizzes and always full of stories. Our condolences to Barbara and the family.
David Garner is suffering from Vascular Dementia and is currently in Sutton Court (residential care).
Outings/Events:
Terry Ribbens reported on a very successful tour of Battersea Power Station plus River Trip to Greenwich.
8th March: Coach to Wilton’s Music Hall – guided tour – show (Zauberflöte). Contact Terry by email or phone – see Handbook.
Quiz: 22nd November – great fun – 10 teams, 69 quizzers, surplus to Chairman’s Charity, £427.40.
Lunch changes by 10.30am the prior Tuesday to chris@moniz.co.uk T: 020 8660 6063. Please also report any Member News to Chris.
Please email vincent@fosdike.com with articles/news for the Newsletter.
Speaker today: Revd Malcolm Newman: ‘Christmas Theme’
2nd January 2025: Linda Duffield: ‘The Canadians at Kenley’
November Speaker: Jon Fox – ‘Gilbert and Sullivan’
Our guest today was unusual in two ways.First. He spoke entirely without notes or visual aids. Second. He enlivened his theme with bursts of song which found great favour with the audience who asked for more and joined in where they knew the words, even accompanying him as a makeshift chorus line on the imaginary stage.
Jon’s theme was the persona and works of Gilbert (1836-1911) and Sullivan (1842-1900).
They were well known for their popular output of light but often satirical operettas such as HMS Pinafore, Iolanthe and Trial by Jury.
Their temperaments were opposite; Gilbert somewhat abrasive and stiff when dealing with the cast prior to performances but also considerate to them afterwards. He was the librettist of the two and it was partly due to tensions over whose work was the most important to the partnership that the relationship with Sullivan was often strained. Sullivan was perhaps the easier of the two to get on with, but he had his troubles, being plagued with Kidney stones. Sadly, Gilbert died in a rescue attempt at the lake in the house of a friend, possibly of a heart attack or alternatively drowning.
There is no doubt that they led stressful lives in keeping up their enormous output which apart from the tension between them also involved a lawsuit with the D’Oyly Carte operatic company with whom they had a business relationship.
Their output of work was even included launching a tour in America whose audience was prepared for the English culture in their writing by an advanced tour undertaken by Oscar Wild.
Perhaps one of their most well-known works was HMS Pinafore which had a satirical element concerning an Admiral who had never been to sea and how he had achieved this position. Whilst many say that the work was founded on a real person, they always denied it, though should you care to research this work you may find it interesting.
At the end of their lives both parties were highly regarded and Sullivan being interred in St Pauls Cathedral.
Our thanks go to Jon for a lively after lunch “performance”.
Hi tech rules O.K. – by Vincent Fosdike
What’s wrong with the TV? Husband mutters as it stays fixed on the wrong channel no matter how hard he presses the remote. This is not funny. He is trusted or at least tasked with recording his wife’s favourite programme and there is no chance of her fortuitously arriving back in time to watch it live. Most of the London rail network has failed again as it often does at weekends leaving her to make several unscheduled changes on a 15 mile journey and taking 3 hours in the process. Normally 2 hours would do it roughly equating to a cautious cycle speed on an old sit up and beg bike. This will ensure that she is not in the most equable mood when she reaches the front door, cold and hungry. Not a good moment to give news of yet another kind of technical hitch!!!!
Batteries in the remote are changed and the buttons fiendishly pumped. In what looks like a last gasp the right station is highlighted and set to record. However the remote has served notice. So we seek a replacement online as T.V. shops no longer want to stock them. I would, in the words of the song, walk 500 miles to avoid plunging into online buying.
The screen reveals approximately 15 remote units to be researched by finding a tiny model number on the remote. After finally finding a magnifying glass, we can reduce the field to about 7 offerings. The manufactures original being 7 times the price of most of the rest. Surely some of the cheaper ones must work if not for so long; a bit like us.
Go for one a few pounds above the cheapest. This is well known to waiters taking orders for wine when the man wishes not to appear a cheap skate in front of a girl on a first date and goes for what seems a respectable offering. Actually I am advised that this is deliberate mis-pricing in order to offload a duff batch! Don’t know if this applies to online page and price layout, perhaps I should have gone up the range a bit more.
The remote arrives exactly on time. A white knight to the rescue the old item is really at its last gasp, promising to lock us on to one channel when it passes on.
The new remote looks almost the same and so there is no need to read the manual, just put in the batteries and off we go! It works! at least it seems to. Surely that time I pressed to move up the channels and it didn’t was mishandling. Time tells and less than 24 hours later it is clear it will have to go back to wherever it came from. But where was that? There was no handy return envelope or label, perhaps it came from outer space! No please No! This means back online to engage in a chat room session with a machine that will send us in an endless loop. Or just a menu which does not have the right option. Knowing full well that our Saturday morning would be written off, even starting at nine o-clock, we tried all of these and got to the point where we had to return it via a collection/drop off point on a wall and then complete an online return notice. Well, we tried. The drop off screen offered a returns menu and instructed us to scan in our code which we did not have! The barcode on the packaging failed. We sought help from the manager of the premises and he did his best but could not enlighten us suggesting that another drop of point at the off-licence might be better. Whilst a drink was not a bad idea, we felt it would not advance matters so walked home to try a different approach online. Finally we found a customer service number and dialled it. “This number does not take incoming calls, leave your number and we will get back to you”. That sounds like some well-known institutions and probably means a “maybe”. Aren’t we cynical? But no, they do call and want a contract number which is on the other screen of our phone. Naturally as we switch screens the connection drops. Forewarned we try again and wait for the call with the relevant numbers which are so long they almost guarantee at least one mistake.
Back through the security checks which we can now do faster than they can keep up, (one point to us) We tell the tale of failed returns and what is wrong with the item and there being no return envelope or label and wait to be found guilty of on line ignorance and geriatric stupidity. Perhaps being sent back to the wall box.
We are asked to quote our account details, and are assured of a refund without more ado! Now we are getting somewhere but what is to become of the item we ask.
“We don’t want it just throw it away”. So is this why there is no return envelope and the wall box was so unhelpful.
Interestingly they seem to insist on listing the refund as item damaged in transit despite our insistence that it was defective. I wonder if this forms a claim against the shipper as opposed to the manufacturer who supplies what really amounted to an item selling for the price of a couple of cups of coffee .
We have two half working remote controls which in combination will operate the T.V. and programme recordings. We can continue this arcane method or gamble again on one of the 6 remaining items.
Whilst mulling this over and watching a late evening program I go to the kitchen to put a mug away only to discover the boiler is dripping water.
So we call the insurers, turn off the water and heating and retire to bed with a distant voice chanting the high-tech anthem, “We are receiving an unusually high volume of calls but your call is important to us.”
It looks like a new T.V. is the only way to get a new remote! How is that for a selling ploy?
Head hanging despondently my glance lights on a seldom used but overcrowded bookshelf and a small black shape. Curiosity makes me pick it out. The age of miracles is still with us. It is a T.V. remote in mint condition. Yes the exact model and unmarked. It must have been there several years wholly unregarded. It works. The little things in life can be as good as winning the lottery!P.S. Boiler replacement still awaited.