Club News
Welcome to members, wives, partners and friends.
April: Chairman, Tony Farrell, welcomed 25 members plus Graham Davis being his induction meeting.
New Committee Members: Appointed by the Committee: Bill Ainsworth, Welfare Secretary; Bill Baldock, Without Portfolio.
A full list of Committee and Officers is in the new Handbook (p11).
Independent Examiner: Brian Morris was elected nem. con.
News of Members: Keith Brooham has splints to straighten his fingers. Graham Bass expecting to return following a broken hip. Owen Kelly undergoing treatment following biopsy. Dave Garner diagnosed with vascular dementia following a fall.
Outings/Events
Denbies wine estate 19th April: contact Terry Ribbens T: 020 8647 1401, E: tribbs42@gmail.com
Bletchley Parkearly June – by coach with guided tour – Terry seeking interest.
Probus Quiz 24th November: contact Ian Payne T: 01737 554449. E: secretary@coulsdonprobus.co.uk
Lunches: Due to Sports club increases, lunch fees will rise to £28 (+2 for Chairman’s charity) from May (this month).
Lunch changes by 10.30am the prior Tuesday to chris@moniz.co.uk T: 020 8660 6063.
Member News to Welfare Sec., Bill Ainsworth T: 020 8660 0399.
Please email editor@coulsdonprobus.co.uk with articles/news for the Newsletter.
Speakers
Today: Wilf Lower: ‘Last days of music hall and variety’.
1st June: Bob Ogley: Doodlebugs and Rockets.
April Speaker: Ian Payne — What’s in a name
[programmed speaker had Covid-19]
Ian’s talk was about his own name ‘Ian Garryk Payne’ with which he had grown up. ‘Ian Garryk’ came from ‘Jan Garrigue’ the son of the founder of Czechoslovakia, Thomas Masaryk. His mother, having come from Slovakia didn’t know how to spell ‘Garryk’
Ian used illustrations based on photos, maps, certificates and records. His father Paul Payne, an Englishman without a middle name, had always parried any questions about family and origin and cut the family off from relations when Ian was 5. Hence Ian’s discoveries only started when both his parents had died based on documents in the loft and later internet searches and records. But the loft records showed his father to have been Paul Benjamin Goldman and a cutting from The London Gazette showed the formal name change – six months before Ian was born.
Surmising why ‘Payne’ was chosen, Ian considered Tomas Payne the 18th century politician linked to the French Revolution and the American independence movement, who wrote ‘Comon Sense’ and ‘Age of Reason’. Or perhaps it had been Jack Payne, the famous band leader. But his grandfather, Max Goldman’s naturalisation papers said ‘known as Max Payne’. Also his great grandfather who had brought the family from Russian Poland in 1896 to escape the pogroms was also known as Payne although they were all Goldman on official papers. Ian felt much easier about his name and from the census records he found aunts and uncles and cousins he never knew about.
Some years later, contact with Joe, an American cousin, through DNA records revealed that the family had come from Szreńsk, a small shtetl in Poland and that their Yiddish name had been Pijen. The family had lived in poverty in one room next to a cattle shed. But Ian was delighted to have recovered his name – Ian Garryk Payne.
Cats. A judge’s best friend? by Vincent Fosdike
The divorce proceedings had taken three sessions despite the measure of agreement between the parties. The custody of the children seemed not to be very contentious, the division of the value of the house and finances whilst being in issue was managed by sensible discussion and solicitors’ advice as to likely outcome in any event. Social work reports on the children and valuations of property, pensions and visiting arrangements were all settling down nicely at least from a lawyer’s viewpoint.
Just one sticking point remained. A substantial inheritance could be expected perhaps within a matter of days assuming the lingering party left on schedule and of course did not make a death bed alteration to her will. Expectations of this sort can perhaps be dealt with by a fractional anticipatory allocation regardless of the sum being uncertain but this will leave the parties unable to confirm future arrangements such as new mortgages. Bank managers especially the digital kind “just say no”, preferring to wait till the final bell tolls.
What was needed was a delay. The judge’s clerk wanted to keep his honours list moving and get a final decision without adjourning and allowing the risk of a miraculous recovery. His honour needed a reason for a short delay of perhaps a month with a hearing at short notice pending listing space as available. Perhaps mortality would help out? But he could hardly order an adjournment pending the ascension of a beloved relative. An irritating dilemma. He called both lawyers to his chambers and put the problem to them jointly. They would “take instructions” i.e. have a chat with their clients.
Although now fairly amiable the parties had shown resourcefulness and cunning in their disputations. Now it seemed they pooled these attributes and asked for a further matter of property to be considered. It seems it had been overlooked by their lawyers – the thoroughbred cat worth at least ten thousand pounds (subject to valuation by experts). A brief adjournment was granted for a valuation to be sourced and agreed as the parties were fierce in their demands for exclusive ownership and no visiting rights! Now all parties waited in great distress for the beloved to shuffle off her mortal coil. As it turned out suitable tears were called for only three days later and the Will clarified the finances.
Figures were confirmed at the resumed hearing wherein the judge was glad to say that the only matter now remaining was the cat. “Can I see the valuation please”? We could not hand it up to the bench as it was not available. Fortunately, however, the parties had agreed that as the husband was emigrating it was in the cat’s best interests to remain with wife, and financial apportionment was withdrawn from issue. The proceedings could be concluded. They could declare themselves divorced!
On the way back to the office I asked the Ex Mrs. how much the redundant valuation was going to cost. For a moment she was quiet and then said “Weeel I think it won’t cost anything.” Why? Well the vet could have been sticky about it so we did not trouble him.”
“Why not”?
“Our beloved cat died ten years ago and was anyway just a moggie. You won’t tell the judge will you?”
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